Asks and Wins, FTL.

The company that I work for is absolutely submerged in corp-speak. My boss’ boss’ boss is probably the worst offender I have ever encountered. His speech is absolutely impenetrable. I can tell it’s English, and I can almost make sense of it if I really focus, but I’m convinced that his speech is calculated to be deliberately confusing. Either that or there’s a deep seated insecurity that he’s covering for by trying to make his words sound more important than they are. It’s not just the sesquipedalian tendency that offends me, it’s the mutilation of ordinary words too. At any rate, there’s already a backlash to this kind of language, and I count myself among the opposition.
For me, the most offensive example is “ask”. Ask is a perfectly reasonable verb. It’s not a noun. Ever. In nearly every meeting, I have to hear the phrase “what is the ask?” which translates to “what are they asking for?” or “what do they want?”. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. I’m going to have to launch a counterattack. Reason must prevail.


2 Responses to “Asks and Wins, FTL.”

  1. 1 Stacey
    October 21, 2008 at 11:26 pm

    It took you this long? Where were you during the Getty years when I drew the line at “leverage?”

  2. 2 secularjihad
    October 21, 2008 at 11:32 pm

    Let’s not forget “synergy”.

    I recommend that any time someone tries to talk over your head with corpspeak, you trip them up with lolcat.

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